quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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