Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
