Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
