Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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