3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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