Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
