Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
