As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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