Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
