But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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