He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
