woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
a search helicopter?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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