The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
