i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
