whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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