Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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