margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
