but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
