I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
