we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
