walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
