you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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