I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
