he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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