I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
