When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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