don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
