is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
