my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
