Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
being pregnant is like rehab
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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