is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
