covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
