Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
