Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
