I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
