One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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