You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
