why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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