"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
