It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
