So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
