I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
