So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
