I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
