If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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