Little spoons don't ask big questions
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am naked and annoyed.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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