This is not my ceiling
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
