butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
