Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
