dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
