no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
