his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
